NO SECRET SO CLOSE is the story of a the most unthinkable betrayal humanly possible — at only 24 years old, Claire Dorotik’s father has been murdered, her mother arrested, and now, in a sinister twist of fate, Claire’s mother points the finger at Claire, accusing her of killing her own father. Battling the feelings of loss, abandonment, terror, and dissociation, and also learning about them, Claire struggles to stay in her master’s program for psychotherapy. However, when Claire’s brothers also betray her and side with her mother, Claire is left all alone to care for the 18 horses she and her mother owned. As the story unfolds, what is revealed is the horses’ amazing capacity for empathy in the face of human trauma, and the almost psychic ability to provide the author with what had been taken from her. Arising from these horrifying circumstances, the most unthinkable heroes — the horses — show Claire that life is still worth living.

Excerpt #15 from NO SECRET SO CLOSE:

I looked behind me — what the hell is spooking you? But there was nothing there. Kiaz was looking right at me. “It’s just me, pal.” I kept my hand out and stepped toward him again.

He backed up and snorted again.

I held the halter out toward him. “Come on– I just want to put the halter on. What’s wrong? It’s just me, pal!”

His eyes fixed on me, it was clear he wasn’t going to let me near him.

“Why don’t you believe me? I’m fine.” I moved toward him again.

He continued backward, and didn’t stop.

I followed him. “I’m fine, really.”

He was shaking with fear now.

“Kiaz, I have to be fine. Who else is gonna to take care–”

My voice was interrupted by a neigh. It was Sylvie. I glanced over toward her pasture. She was trotting toward the fence, Classic and Zanzibarr, the other two mares, just behind her. And then, two more neighs. The three mares, their foals in tow, gathered together, their eyes on Kiaz. Then, I heard another neigh from behind me. It was Nimo, pacing up and down in his turnout. Now Keeper started banging his stall door. Cappy, a young thoroughbred, was pacing, too, calling out from his stall.

All eyes were on Kiaz and me. I stopped and looked around. “What is going on you guys? I’m fine.”

A chorus of neighs seemed to differ.

I looked at Kiaz. “Well, then what?” I threw my hands up. “What am I supposed to do? There’s no one else to take care of you guys. Mom’s never coming home, alright? That’s it. It’s all over.”

The words came out of me faster than I could even absorb them. Suddenly overcome with emotion, I sunk to my knees. My face fell into my hands and I rocked back and forth.

“She’s never coming home.” Tears welled out of my eyes, and thick sobs took over my breathing. I buried my face in my hands.

Another neigh. It was Sylvie again. Then Zanzibarr, Nimo, Keeper, Classic, Cappy and the babies. Then a soft knicker. It was Kiaz.

I looked up.

He was standing right over me, his head lowered and eyes still fixed on me. But where before they’d been wide with fear, they now showed only concern.

“Maybe you were right.” I whispered.

He stepped forward and brought his nose right to my face.

“You weren’t afraid of me, were you? You were afraid for me.”

He held his nose against my face.

“Me too, bud. Me too.”