It’s hard for me to imagine Jane with another horse. She’s MY person, and I’m pretty possessive of her. I know she’s partnered with lots of horses before I came to her life, but I can’t imagine her with anyone but me.
I noticed Jane was a bit melancholy the other day, and then heard her say that her former mount, Woody, had passed away. Woody was very old and ready for his transition, but it was still sad for Jane to realize he was no longer on this planet.
Jane said she was so grateful that Woody had been cared for by a wonderful lady during his senior years. She talked about how much Woody had taught her, and how much fun they had together at shows and clinics over the years. Jane intentionally focused on the brightness he brought to her and others’ lives, not on the loss of his passing.
When someone dies or moves away there is a natural period of time when we need to grieve. Horses grieve too. It is easy to stay in that place of sadness and let grief become a habit. Sometimes it takes some conscious effort to focus on the happy memories and the joy your friend brought to your life. But doing so will not only help you feel much better; it will help you train your brain to look for the positive in everything.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. There is nothing wrong with being sad or upset. Just remember that the negative feelings will subside. Just take it one day at a time, and make the decision to put some effort into your happier thoughts.
All will be well….
I was really hungry this morning. I mean REALLY hungry. I was so hungry I could have eaten a riding boot! But I remembered that I’m not supposed to do that anymore.
I wandered around the house and found Rhett in his office. I asked him for a biscuit, but he didn’t hear me. He was so intent on editing video he didn’t notice that I was at his side asking for something to eat.
Then I went to Jane and asked her for something to eat. She was focused on her computer, working on her next book, and didn’t even notice that I had come into the room. I sat at her feet feeling totally ignored. My feelings got hurt, and I felt very sad. I sighed and whimpered and felt like no one loved me anymore.
Before long, Jane stopped what she was doing, noticed that I was lying there, stood up, and asked me to follow her into the kitchen. She went to the cupboard and got a doggie biscuit and handed it to me with a smile. For a second, I considered refusing to take it, to punish her for being too busy for me. For a moment I thought I wanted her to feel bad, because I was feeling bad. But then I realized how silly that was.
Jane and Rhett both love me, and would never intentionally hurt my feelings. For me not to forgive them would only hurt me. So I decided to accept the gift of the biscuit and the love that came with it.
Forgiving someone helps the “forgive-er” even more than the “forgive-ee”. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to accept negative behavior. It’s simply acknowledging that we’re all doing the best we can at that moment. It is the mature act of letting go of the need to make the other guy wrong.
Who could use a dose of forgiveness in your life? Can you give them that gift? Give forgiveness a try and notice how good you feel.