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NO SECRET SO CLOSE is the story of a the most unthinkable betrayal humanly possible — at only 24 years old, Claire Dorotik’s father has been murdered, her mother arrested, and now, in a sinister twist of fate, Claire’s mother points the finger at Claire, accusing her of killing her own father. Battling the feelings of loss, abandonment, terror, and dissociation, and also learning about them, Claire struggles to stay in her master’s program for psychotherapy. However, when Claire’s brothers also betray her and side with her mother, Claire is left all alone to care for the 18 horses she and her mother owned. As the story unfolds, what is revealed is the horses’ amazing capacity for empathy in the face of human trauma, and the almost psychic ability to provide the author with what had been taken from her. Arising from these horrifying circumstances, the most unthinkable heroes — the horses — show Claire that life is still worth living.

Excerpt #36 from NO SECRET SO CLOSE:

“Okay, well find out and get back to me. I’ll have Lewis bring the papers over.”

I hung up the phone and rested my forehead against my hands. I knew we’d have to sell the house — my mother’s severance wouldn’t last more than six months, and I had no income, my attempts at selling horses not proving  profitable — but I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. I especially didn’t want to become my mother’s power of attorney. The thought of it made me feel more like a criminal than I already did. I’d already been using her accounts at the feed stores to buy hay for the horses. I was already paying her bills. I was already driving her car, having sold mine for money. I was already living in her house. I was already accused of her crime.

When I had started driving her car, I immediately took it to the car wash and cleaned out all of the fast food wrappers, receipts, old papers, dog hair, and any other items that were hers. In a way, I didn’t want it to be anything like her car. I had done the same thing when I moved into the house. But I couldn’t go into her bedroom. I hated that room, and would do anything to avoid it. Then, when money ran really short, she told me to just stop paying the car and house bills and only buy feed for the horses. Although it was necessary, it made me feel even more like a criminal.

“Shit!” I screamed out loud. Kerry wasn’t calling for character witnesses for my mother; he was calling for character witness to use against me. That’s why he asked about “my” friends. That’s why he was so short on the phone. That’s why the message said, “Got some paperwork for you to sign.” Panic came over me like an ominous dark cloud. It is going to rain, and I am going to prison. Even if Kim refused, he could subpoena her. And then there would be others. He was on the hunt for me, and he was gathering a tribe. My mind ran through all of the people I knew. Would any of them testify against me? I had no idea how people would react to that headline, but it occurred to me that the headline was intended to sway people’s opinions. That is why he waited to ask me for character witnesses until after it broke.

Trying to absorb what just happened, I walked outside and looked down the driveway. I contemplated taking off on one of the horses. The feeling was all too familiar.